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June 14 Cat's body, dog's spiritYesterday afternoon, I was walking Taizi and I met a heavily beard man who just saved a dog from the street. He himself is not a rich person, very simple outfit and a broken backpack. He also had a Guitar with him. I guess he is one of those poor musicians who have the warmest hearts. I admire him, living in his own dream and being an animal lover. He told me that he had rescued cats before but he had to give them to him friends instead of keeping them by himself. Why? I asked. He said that he is always on the road, traveling from one place to another. And, the most significant difference between is that, cats need a place called home, a place that they can come back to and sleep in peace; but dogs need a friend, a companion, a master, someone that they can depend on, no matter where they are. I thanked him for telling that. Very true. I had a cat once, she was always on her own, going out and coming back on her own schedule. She would come to me for petting and food when she felt like to. After I moved, she got nervous for some time. She was confused and kept going back to the old address. As for Taizi, his eyes are only on me. No matter where we go, the only thing he cares is where I am. He has no problem going into a new place with me, but he doesn’t like staying home alone without me. People say human beings can be divided into the dog person and the cat person, and I have been thinking which group I belong to. I need freedom, I enjoy wondering around and explore. I don’t need someone to train me. So, am I a cat? I can’t live without friendship and I want be with someone special. So, am I a dog? Maybe I am dying to have a place that I can always go back to, I need someone being with me on my way home; yet, the world fascinates me, my legs keep running away from settlements; Maybe I know who is the right soul, I know my direction and destiny; yet, I am scared from all the uncertainties, so scared that I ‘d rather be one of the uncertain factors. Maybe I am so ready to be with someone and can’t careless about where I am or where I will be; yet, the nest I had seems so cozy and safe…… So, does that make me a dog,which trapped in a cat’s body? March 28 Can't forget, Can't forgive.Yes, we all make mistakes in life and we all ask for forgiveness from others. The question is: can anyone really forgive? In everyday life, we do stupid things with no reasons. We lose our keys, scratch our cars, forget mothers’ birthdays, being late for dates…Sure, people forgive us because there is always a way to fix, to make up, to re-do. What if we did something more like breaking a promise, faking a moment, or cheating on a partner? Personally, I think everything in relationships and friendships are very fragile. One smile, one word, one gesture is all it needs. Building up something called trust, bond, or chemistry, takes weeks, months, or even years; but to destroy it only takes one single lie, one single misunderstanding, and one single instance. I have to say that I am not a forgiving person at all and I doubt anyone is. I remember too well. I know other people try harder than me to forgive others, because they think forgiving is a good quality and maybe mistakes will not happen again. I don’t think I agree with that. They say it is easier to forgive your enemy than to forgive your friends. I think so. For the enemies, we knew they are on the other side, we knew they would do some nasty things against us, we knew they hate us, so no surprise, at all. As for friends, we didn’t know. We keep friends deep in our hearts; they have the access to break out heart. Come on, give me another chance. They say, after they said sorry. Another chance to do what? To play me like a fool again? I don’t forgive because I can’t, I can’t forgive because I can’t forget, I can’t forget because I care. So, be my friends, be my lover, but if you broke my heart, please leave without asking for forgiveness. Because deep in my heart, I won’t forget, even if I decide to forgive, I am just faking, for the sake of it. March 07 Hair style, SOSOk, I am really tired of my current hair style.
 SO, people! I am calling on you! For everyone who passes by here, please give some suggestions, what should i do with my hair?  what style would be suitable for me? oh, shut up, don't tell me my current look is sexy enough...  February 28 Personality Profile
The color test
February 14 Quit asking me questionsI absolutely hate being asked questions, especially non-stop non-sense questions. Questions like: What did you do? Why did you do it? How did you do it? With whom you did it? How was it? Will you do it again? Compare to X, which one is better? Where did you do it? If you had Y, would you still consider doing it? What did Z say about it? Did P like what you did? Did you tell O that you did this? How many times have you done it? Could you tell me what was in your mind when you did it? What did you feel afterwards? Do you regret? How much did you spend? Do you prefer A or B or C ? B? Why? Why not A? Why not C? … “it” or “ do it” can be replaced by: eat, go out, buy an outfit, get a hair cut, move, meet a new friend, get a new job, cook, name my dog, fight with someone, want coffee…Any major, or minor thing, I meant, anything. Unfortunately, most of the people who are around love to ask questions, love even more to ask ME questions. I don’t know why I have to keep explaining and one answer leads to another question…Do people usually find me interesting so that they have to ask questions to enjoy themselves? And why do I have to entertain anyone? Why is it people have to ask to understand me, can’t you use your own eyes and judgments? Not everything has a reason and I did not think over all the answers for all the questions before I do anything. I can feel my head pumps and then splits when someone is really pushing me to the end of my patients. Look, dudes, I don’t ask anything about you, right? Have I ever questioned you? So, just don’t ask, please. Anyway, I went down for a coffee, the guy asked me, what size? Strong or mild? Decafe? With milk or cream? Milk? 2%? 3%? How many? For here or to go? With a bagel or doughnut? No? you sure? I just want a simple coffee, man. Everything is so complicated and we have so many choices… Just for the record, I don’t mean that meaningful questions are annoy, so, if you really have to ask me, ask me good. November 21 LUCKY STONE
MY REPORT ON GRAPH ANALYSIS
June 13 My Nose is pierced nowOk, I totally did it. I didn’t think about it for a long time, really. I went to pierce my nose on my birthday. Much less pain than I expected. What I felt was like something hot touched my nose for a second. I am not really sure about the reason why I did it. Maybe I do like how it looks on my nose now, oh, by the way, the right side, maybe I just want to do something different on my birthday. Or, perhaps there will be one day when I become a chicken, afraid of too many things or being too conservative. Then I can remind myself that I used to be daring and had this “what are you looking at” attitude. Yes, a trace of being young and crazy. My skin is good, never gets any infection. Thanks to mama. I am religiously cleaning my nose three times a day. Once with warm water, once with soap, another time with salty water. Just like the guy who pierced my nose told me. I think it’s a cool job, you punch holes and you get paid. Isn’t it? June 07 Happy birthday,Jingjing! —a letter to myselfMy dear jingjing: Time flies, in a blink you are now officially 23. Happy birthday! I have no gifts but a few words for you. I hope you won't mind. As a Gemini as you, you are a living paradox. Maybe you don’t see it yourself, but I do. You know I have been watching you for all these years, and I think no one knows you better than I do. I see you being strong. You swallowed “I cannot do this” long time ago and I heard you say “Let’s face it”. I see you being weak too. Of course you always gave me a smile before you leave home in the mirror; I can tell that you were afraid. Weren’t you? Weren’t you afraid of the world outside and weren’t you worried that you may not pass all the challenges? I see you being happy. Anybody who knows you is in love with your laughs, oh yes, I enjoy your laughs too. Sometimes, your sense of humor surprises others, they’d never guessed that a Chinese girl has an ability which they claim only western men have. Well, Most of the time, I would say, you are happy. No one gets to see you being sad, not yourself sometimes because you adjust your mood real quick, only a moment or two. You were more than real when you were sad. You realized that life is a difficult journey and some disappointments or some wounds are just normal. You often can convince yourself and me as well that all the darkness is unavoidable, what we should do is to appreciate the brightness more. I see you enjoy being with people. You are a good chatter, and a good listener. You usually get yourself into other people’s shoes and tell them what you think from their perspective. You certainly have many friends; many of them say you are their only friend who they open up to. I know how important friends are for you, but I see you enjoy being with yourself too; only I have to ask, is that sometimes you don’t have a choice or is that you need some time to think things over? I see you a few times sitting at the corner of your bed and listen to some music. I think raining days make you do that. Maybe you have many thoughts which you don’t want to explain to any body and you think no one will really get it, am I right? I see you dream about your future. I am so glad that you have confidence and you have the courage to dream. Let me say this, there is no failure even your dream doesn’t come to reality. What really matter is that you try and keep trying. You dream big and wild, yet, you want to have a simple life after all. I heard many times from you that you want to be a farmer later on. Is it an escape from the business world or is it a recovery? Jingjing, all the hard work , all the tears, all the disappointments are there for some reasons; for that one laugh , one dream, one happiness to be more valuable and more precious . As you always say, the best is yet to come, I agree. Anyway, I will always be with you and please make me proud. Happy birthday! April 29 How much does my weight weigh?I weighed myself this morning. 53.5kg. Not bad, not bad at all. I was 67kg when I was in my high school. I didn't go through hell style exercising, nor did I tolerated starvation. I just dropped my size. I don’t remember the feeling of carrying all these 14 extra kilograms, but I like how I feel now. I have never been the pretty one. You know the one gets all the attentions. I have never been. I think after I lost weight, I got many positive feedbacks. From people know me really well and the ones don’t know me that much. It’s nice to hear what they are saying now, “oh, you look good”, “ah, you are beautiful”, “Gee, sexy sexy”, “ Wow, what have you been doing”, “ you are fit”, “ look at you girl !”… I don’t know what I should feel. Should I be happy and proud of myself? I should, I could. I do look better now. They all like it. It is easier to buy clothes and no more embarrassing “can’t – put- it – on” moments. But then, is that all people care about? Is that all people see? I mean, why they didn’t see me as a beautiful person before? What was wrong then? Just because of these kilograms? Only when I am fit and curved, people start to notice me? Thin=beautiful? What about my personality? What about all other qualities they should've seen, and what happen to all my evilness which still exists, they don’t see anymore? How much does my weight weigh, really? Heavier all other important stuffs? Like honesty kindness passion? Like politeness abilities patience? ...Do they still count? Do I also define people by their looks? Have I realized there might be more than what I see? Maybe there is much worse than it looks? What is happening underneath it all? Looking back, I see who truly loved me, with or without my 14 kilograms, like Gina who hugs and kisses me and keeps telling me how squishy I was. Maybe one day, I should start eating like crazy and sleep more than 12 hours a day, just to be the fat one. It will be easier for me to see who really cares about the inner me. Shame on you, if you didn’t realize I had great smile when I was 67kilograms and don’t tell me I am a Barbie now. April 28 DOBWhat Does Your Birth Date Mean? Your Birthdate: June 7 Born on the 7th day of month gives you a tendency to be something of a perfectionist and makes you more individualistic in many ways. Gender of my brain
April 27 I am whatever you say I am.A friend said to me, tell me more about yourself, you know everything about me, I don’t know anything about you, and it’s not fair. Hum…maybe that’s usually the case. People see me as a talkative person; I am, when the topic is something or anything but about myself. I don’t really talk about myself. One of my best friends still doesn’t know which major I am in. I didn’t mean to though. Or, did I? Did I tend to hide? Or I just forget things, who was who, which was which? Is that I would be wounded again when I face my wounds or are there any fears to face my fear? What am I hiding? I didn’t do anything wrong. I just don’t want to tell others about what I've seen and what I felt? Why should I? To take out all my emotions and stories, they are too fragile, and I don’t what to hear judgments. Who am I hiding from? I don't know. Maybe nobody, maybe everybody, maybe just from myself. Things that I wish I didn't do, and feeling I wouldn't admit. And...is there anything that really need to be hid, anything at all? Maybe it's just because I get used to be alone and not being questioned, even though I hate being alone. I think I’d rather be a listener, I am a good one. I won’t tell a soul. But, my own stories, let me digest them alone. I prefer. After all, what has past us is just the past, happened in the past and stay still in the past, why should I carry them with me, if they are too heavy? You can say that I am trying too hard to be strong, or you can say that I am not honest. So, let it be. I am, whatever you say I am. April 23 ~language~
I scored as French.
You should learn... French. Maybe you'll move to France or a fomerly-French African colony. Even if you won't, you're up to the challenge. Learn French! French 80% Chinese 74% Arabic 74% Spanish 74% Japanese 73% Latin 53% English 46% I am learing french now anyways...and , i am in Quebec which is French speaking region, maybe the quiz is somewhat believable. Seven deadly sins
You scored as Sloth. Pride 75% Sloth 75% Envy 63% Lust 56% Greed 44% Wrath 31% Gluttony 19%
http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=145&first=yes leave me alone, I wanna sleep... ~Piercing~
I scored as Belly Button Piercing! Belly Button Piercing 100% Cartilage Piercing 90% Tongue Piercing 90% Labret Piercing 80% Dirty Piercings 80% Nipples 70% Earlobe Piercing 70% Lip Piercing 50% Nose Piercing 40% Painful lipsI don’t know what’s wrong with my lips. They are so painful, dry, annoy and I know it takes at least 10 days to get rid of. And I have this problem at least 3 times a year. It might be the stress, or I may be allergic to something and I don’t know what, or, maybe the weather is too dry…I don’t know, I hate my lips right now. I bought some medication for them, so much pain to put them on, oh, man. I can’t open my mouth; it hurts so badly around the corners. So, I can’t have big bites, no sushi no sandwich. Even if I want to drink, I need a straw…It feels so tight all around and looks like I have red lip stick on. Hopefully it will go away. Soon. April 21 What City Do You Belong in?I Belong in New York City
You're an energetic, ambitious woman.
And you? Quiz from :http://www.yournewromance.com/whatcitydoyoubelonginquiz/
April 20 Stylin'
I scored as Diesel.
Diesel 92% Dior 83% Burberry 83% Gucci 75% DKNY 67% Anna Sui 67% Chanel 67% Abercrombie & Fitch 58% Louis Vuitton 58% Tommy Hilfiger 42% What about you ? |
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